The Safe Zone Lifestyle Improvement Manual helps readers identify the underlying beliefs and attitudes
that make them vulnerable to feelings of stress, anxiety and tension. Readers create images that help them
replace negative, self-defeating thoughts and emotions with positive and purposeful behaviors.
Each chapter in the manual helps readers get one step closer to securing their senses of self-worth,
Below is an excerpt from the manual's introduction.
A Welcome from Tula and Kim
We are taught that the three basic needs in order to survive are food, clothing and shelter. This is true; but, we need more than just physical fulfillment in order to really succeed and prosper in life. Having money is nice; however, it is an injustice to measure our success by the designer of our clothes, the type of cars we drive or where we purchase our homes. When we don’t understand our needs for self-worth, self-gratification and inner security, we are destined to adopt behaviors that are driven by uncertainty and doubt.
In addition to the three basic needs to survive, there are three basic needs to prosper and thrive. They are the needs for validation, appreciation and control. We need to believe that we are valuable to others. We experience personal satisfaction when others acknowledge our accomplishments and express gratitude for our efforts. We want to be effective when we confront circumstances that threaten our well-being.
We learn early in life that our access to validation, appreciation and control is determined by what others thought of us. As children, we believed that our worth depended on whether or not we met our parent’s standards regarding how to think, how to dress, how to behave and what to eat. Educators taught us the alphabet so that we could read and write. They also used the alphabet to acknowledge their approval and gratitude for our accomplishments and efforts. (Were you acknowledged as an “A” student or a “C” student?) As adults, employers control our incomes by determining the value of our knowledge, skills and experience. As a result of these factors, we often look for others to define who and what we should value in our lives.
Indeed, not all standards are negative. They are vital to our personal achievement; however, they are simply guidelines for prosperous living. If we fail to develop trust in ourselves and fail to respect the power of our own choices, we can find that we are trapped in a chronic state of pleasing others at the expense of self fulfillment. As a result, we are plagued by chronic feelings of pressure, fear and strain…or stress, anxiety and tension
Wanting to please others isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Wanting to feel accepted isn’t either, but you must learn when pleasing others and being accepted gets you closer to what you desire for your life, not what others desire for you.
In the Safe Zone, you will learn how to minimize or eliminate the factors that caused you to give up your sense of self-worth, self-gratification and self-control in the first place. There may be times throughout this manual, when you feel more frustrated than you did before you started this journey. At other times, you will feel excited and hopeful. All of this is expected as you transition from the external, demanding and intimidating forces in your old comfort zone, to the internal, powerful and purposeful resources in your new Safe Zone. Once you complete this program, you should live a “new normal” that includes behaviors that serve to improve your life. This new normal can be just as overwhelming as it is exciting; therefore, we do not recommend that you explore this manual entirely on your own. We invite you to participate in our supportive and encouraging Lifestyle Improvement Classes.